The bible goes into great detail about death, grief and morning to help us understand and reach a place of peace.
The wisdom of knowing our child is what makes his/her death so painful. It is said - the more knowledge, the more grief. Considering how your plans for your son's or daughter's future ended with their life it is easy to see why some of the sorrow you may be feeling is the longing for the future you will never have with them.
I believe a great many of us ask God "WHY ME, WHY MY CHILD" and I wish there was an answer. But in faith we must trust the sovereignty of God that all things occur for a reason. Your child was born for a reason and they died for a reason. We may never realize what the reason is but for we pray that you will find peace knowing that God is here with you and God is there with your child.
I read an example the other day, a father was trying to help his surviving children understand that as they held the had of God, God was holding the hand of their sister. Thus through God they we still connected, ever though they could not see their sister, they we holding hands with her through their relationship with God.
I feel like many of us think these thoughts. Once the first month as gone by. Look around and see.
Is any suffering like my suffering? All the people of this world have go back to their "normal" lives, don't you know, can't you see my child just died. Why doesn't anyone care. It is God who walks alongside us in this pain, reach to him and he will comfort you.
One of the things I have witnessed was some parents feel God has forgotten them. They will be in morning forever without hope or light. I say to you, God is the light and way, trust in the resurrection and know that this world is only temporarily. Those who believe that Jesus died for our sins, know that he will call our souls to Heaven.
Mourning is a tough process, if you try to shortcut it or avoid the painful work your healing will take much longer. God has not forgotten you just as you will never forget your child. There are things you must do to heal your heart just as if you broke your broken arm, it doesn't fix itself. With a broken bone, you must see a doctor, have a cast set the bone, then there is physical therapy and rehab. At the end of all that there are scars and possible ongoing limitations in movement. In the death of your child you have similar steps you must take and you will never be the same, there is always going to be a scar, but you can move through the hardest pain and find some peace & comfort on the other side.
When we have a child our world changes & when that child dies our world is rocked. There is not a single death that is more powerful to a man than that of our own flesh & blood, our child. When this happens we sometimes reach to grasp of air as shout " why would God would allow this to happen".
God in his sovereignty understands our heart as he also mourned his own son Jesus.
(9)Two are better than one, because they have a good return on labor. (10) if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. (12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
To me this verse talks to me about how we need to be in community during difficult times. It is easy to fall down during moments of pain after losing a child. Many men fall pray to alcohol, drugs, or other forms of self medication during this difficult time & that's we need a brother to pick us back up and to help us defend ourselves against the weakness that is placed before us.
It may be one of the shortest verses in the Bible, but it has great significance. Situated in the story of a man named Lazarus, one of Jesus' close friends, is the record of Jesus crying. Have you ever wondered what would bring the Sovereign Lord to tears?
He was fully aware that his friend was near death. In fact, he actually chose not to go see him or the family when he heard how serious it was. He knew what the end result would be; he was planning to raise him from the dead. So why would Jesus weep when he finally reached the tomb?
Jesus was, in a very personal way, confronted with the brokenness of our world and the pain that it causes when someone close to you dies. He was not immune to the pain of death. Because of His own experience, you can know for sure He knows the pain you're in and the depth of grief that it's causing you. Take comfort today in the fact that the one who was more acquainted with pain and sorrow, also knows how to restore, strengthen and comfort you!
Contributed by: Pastor Ron Boersema
Overisel CRC www.overiselcrc.com
THE LORD WAS WITH JOSEPH
“But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love.” Genesis 39:21a
The Lord had blessed Joseph so tremendously that his master (Potiphar) decided to put him in charge of his house. In today’s world, he would be called a manager.
“So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned. With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing—except what kind of food to eat!” Genesis 39:6
As Joseph continued serving diligently and faithfully, Potiphar’s wife began lusting after him. She started making passes at him but he was a man of integrity and didn’t give in to her advances. One day, she took the bull by the horns.
She came and grabbed him by his cloak, demanding, “Come on, sleep with me!” Genesis 39:12
But Joseph didn’t give in. Instead, he took off at so much speed that the woman was left with his cloak in her hands. On seeing this, the conniving Potiphar’s wife decided to make Joseph pay. He told her husband that Joseph had tried to rape him. Her evidence was Joseph’s coat which she still had. She said she had cried out and in the tussle that ensued, she had remained with his coat. Understandably, Potiphar was furious and he threw Joseph into prison.
I can only imagine what was going through Joseph’s mind as he languished in jail for a crime he hadn’t committed. He must have pondered what he did to serve all the misfortune he had gone through in life. He was born amongst 11 brothers and 1 sister and they all hated him just because he was their Dad’s favorite. As if not enough, his mom passed away while giving birth to his only biological brother. As he grew up, God would speak to him through dreams and that attracted even more hate from his siblings. They even nicknamed him “the dreamer” Genesis 37:19. His parents weren’t amused to hear his dreams either. Eventually, his brothers came up with a clever plot to get rid of him – they sold him as a slave and that is how he ended up in Egypt under Potiphar. And just when things were starting to look good, here he is in prison.
But as bleak as his situation was, God demonstrated his love and concern for him right there in prison.
So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. Genesis 39:22
Whenever you find yourself in a bad place, remember that even before God delivers you out of it, he will want to demonstrate his love through it. He will want to make his strength perfect in the moment of weakness. Joseph went through a lot of heartache and betrayal but when all was said and done, he came out victorious. Here is what he finally had to say about his persecution;
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20
Joseph didn’t hold a grudge against his brothers. He readily embraced them and helped them when they needed him. He reminded them that even though they had bad intentions for him, God turned out the bad situation for good and he was happy to be a blessing to them.
Whatever you are going through today, remember that God has not given up on your story just yet. Just as Joseph’s story ended on a positive note, God will make all things to work for your good as well.